Yes, it will very soon be time to pay the rent and we all know what that means: time to get our excuses in line. If I told you that the Rhinestone rental portfolio consisted of only the finest homes with only the most punctual of rent paying tenants, then I’d be correct. However, I’ve heard, from “other” real estate firms that excuses can really start to get creative right around the 7th of each month.
I feel like now is a great time to introduce everyone to the car that I drive. Please look upon the majesty of my oversized pickup that I use to drive to showings and pick up lunch at Chick-Fil-A. Before anyone comments on my choice of tires for my truck, please allow me to remind you that where I live, the winters can be icy and snow can occasionally fall and so four wheel drive and minimum 30″ tires are required. I get approximately 8 miles per gallon, but since I’m so successful with my real estate career, I could care less about the cost of fuel and everyone knows that global warming is a myth, so all you haters can just shut up.
This truck serves more than one purpose though. It very clearly demonstrates my wealth and helps pedestrians remember that I’m way more important than they are when we meet each other in crosswalks or even on the sidewalk. More importantly though, this vehicle is a menacing image when I roll up to your home and climb down out of the cab. You may feel comfortable blowing off a lesser person coming to ask you about the rent if he is driving a Honda Fit and you would be justified in doing so. With this truck though, you have no choice but to answer the door and admit all your faults in full detail. It is obvious that the person driving this truck is a badass and if you happen to glimpse my velvet boots striding confidently up your driveway, then the badass image is cemented permanently.
As a bona fide Rhinestone Realtor® I rarely ever have to sully my swagger with such base matters, but when your rent is due, you’ll do well to not wait for me to visit you in my butt kicking machine.